Previously in the saga of Preston Dirgesâ€™ office existence, Gordon and Tina were in trouble with their boss. Meanwhile, Valerie returns to Preston’s desk, finding him deep in thought…
Int. Preston’s Office Floor – Day
Preston’s face presses against the bowl of the brain. He sprinkles food into the water. Valerie turns the corner.
VALERIE: What are you doing?
VALERIE: It doesn’t look like nothing, though I don’t know what it does looks like.
PRESTON: Perhaps that’s because it looks like a big heap of mind your own business.
BRAIN: Don’t be so hard on her.
VALERIE: You’re right. I don’t know what’s coming over me. I didn’t realize work was like… this.
PRESTON: This is only work in the loosest sense of the word.
BRAIN: What are you going to do with her?
VALERIE: Preston, what am I doing here?
PRESTON: If I knew, I’d tell you. I don’t know what I’m meant to be doing half the time, even though I’ve been doing it for years. I make most of it up as I go along.
Preston’s deskphone rings.
PRESTON: Preston Dirges.
RUBNICK (V.O.): Hi Preston, it’s Dave. We need a one-on-one regarding your annual bonus. My office in five?
PRESTON: If you want.
RUBNICK (V.O.): Great.
Rubnick hangs up.
PRESTON: Sorry, I’ve got to go. Dave Rubberdick wants to talk.
VALERIE: I can’t believe you’re running as soon as he calls.
PRESTON: Don’t you like him? I thought everyone liked him. Everyone but me.
BRAIN: I don’t like him.
VALERIE: He’s a creep.
PRESTON: That’s your inner 7 year old speaking.
Preston starts to walk away.
VALERIE: Preston, what should I do now?
BRAIN: Give her something to do.
PRESTON: Do what I do – amuse yourself.
VALERIE: This is work. It’s not meant to be amusing.
PRESTON: I find it amusing. At least, I find it amusing that I get paid to do this.
Preston walks away. Valerie sits at Preston’s desk, and inspects the brain in the bowl.
VALERIE: Can you tell me what to do?
BRAIN: No, but if you could hear me, I’d tell you what Preston never will.
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