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Kirsty’s 10 Rules for Success

We left Preston Dirges at the end of a Tuesday, talking to his brain in a jar. Now we move on to Wednesday morning, where Kirsty, a confident young Australian professional, struts her stuff around the office…

Montage: Int. Office – Morning

We follow Kirsty. She carries a tablet computer and collects information from people. We see Kirsty speaking, smiling, asking questions, listening to answers and noting them down. Though we see her talking, we hear her thoughts instead.

KIRSTY (V.O.): My dad taught me what it takes to succeed in life. He couldn’t have given me better values. Saying that, he was only a farmer, and I’ve learned a fair few tricks since leaving my tiny home town in the middle of nowhere. Here’s my top ten rules for how to get ahead and stay ahead.

Kirsty sits on the edge of an older man’s desk, looking over his shoulder as he talks her through a sterile chart.

KIRSTY (V.O.): Rule 1. Adapt to survive or you’ll die. Evolution is nature’s change management program, and it works.

Kirsty puts a USB data stick into her tablet computer, and copies some files across whilst another woman waits.

KIRSTY (V.O.): Rule 2. Don’t waste time pondering why we are here. Worrying about the meaning of life can only make you miserable. Happy successful people get on with changing the world.

Kirsty shares a joke with a colleague by the water cooler.

KIRSTY (V.O.): Rule 3. Everyone likes being around a good-looking woman. Dress smart, flash those pearly whites and make the best of what you’ve got.

Kirsty sits across a desk from a female colleague, listening to her. She looks very earnest and nods as she listens.

KIRSTY (V.O.): Rule 4. The only people who don’t like a good-looking woman are the frumpy jealous bitches working in Human Resources, so keep it plain and serious around them.

Kirsty sits alongside a man talking through numbers presented on his computer screen. She nods attentively.

KIRSTY (V.O.): Rule 5. People love to talk about what they do at work. But nobody wants to listen. Not spouses, nor children, nor lovers, nor brothers. Pretend you’re interested, and they’ll love you for it.

Kirsty interrupts two women in a conversation. She focuses on one, whilst the other turns and walks away.

KIRSTY (V.O.): Rule 6. Think of yourself as important. Act important. Then other people will make you important.

Kirsty sits whilst a presentation is being given. She talks to the person alongside, not listening to the presentation.

KIRSTY (V.O.): Rule 7. Very few people know what they’re talking about. Seek the ones who do. Bluff the bluffers. Learn from the others.

Kirsty sits listening to a man, but watches another man and a woman flirting by the water cooler.

KIRSTY (V.O.): Rule 8. It’s not just who you know. It’s what you know about them.

Someone holds a door for Kirsty. She walks through briskly.

KIRSTY (V.O.): Rule 9. Life is short. Give yourself a head start every morning, burn the candle at both ends, and never wait in line.

Kirsty walks through the office, weaving past people. She walks straight up to the camera and addresses it directly.

KIRSTY: Rule 10. Follow your own rules. Break everyone else’s.

Kirsty turns away from the camera and briefly knocks on the open door of Tina and Gordon’s office, before walking in.

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