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Interval with Valerie

Previously in the saga of Preston Dirges’ office existence, Gordon and Tina were in trouble with their boss. Meanwhile, Valerie returns to Preston’s desk, finding him deep in thought…

Int. Preston’s Office Floor – Day

Preston’s face presses against the bowl of the brain. He sprinkles food into the water. Valerie turns the corner.

VALERIE: What are you doing?

PRESTON: Nothing.

VALERIE: It doesn’t look like nothing, though I don’t know what it does looks like.

PRESTON: Perhaps that’s because it looks like a big heap of mind your own business.

BRAIN: Don’t be so hard on her.

VALERIE: You’re right. I don’t know what’s coming over me. I didn’t realize work was like… this.

PRESTON: This is only work in the loosest sense of the word.

BRAIN: What are you going to do with her?

VALERIE: Preston, what am I doing here?

PRESTON: If I knew, I’d tell you. I don’t know what I’m meant to be doing half the time, even though I’ve been doing it for years. I make most of it up as I go along.

Preston’s deskphone rings.

PRESTON: Preston Dirges.

RUBNICK (V.O.): Hi Preston, it’s Dave. We need a one-on-one regarding your annual bonus. My office in five?

PRESTON: If you want.

RUBNICK (V.O.): Great.

Rubnick hangs up.

PRESTON: Sorry, I’ve got to go. Dave Rubberdick wants to talk.

VALERIE: I can’t believe you’re running as soon as he calls.

PRESTON: Don’t you like him? I thought everyone liked him. Everyone but me.

BRAIN: I don’t like him.

VALERIE: He’s a creep.

PRESTON: That’s your inner 7 year old speaking.

Preston starts to walk away.

VALERIE: Preston, what should I do now?

BRAIN: Give her something to do.

PRESTON: Do what I do – amuse yourself.

VALERIE: This is work. It’s not meant to be amusing.

PRESTON: I find it amusing. At least, I find it amusing that I get paid to do this.

Preston walks away. Valerie sits at Preston’s desk, and inspects the brain in the bowl.

VALERIE: Can you tell me what to do?

BRAIN: No, but if you could hear me, I’d tell you what Preston never will.

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